The disadvantage of homeschooling

Homeschooling can be HARD. I've enumerated its many advantages in my previous post, but let's be real here - it can be daunting.

I only have one kid, but there are bad days when I break down and cry. The pressure gets to me. What am I so pressured about? 

I sometimes feel that I am not doing enough, that I might not be teaching enough lessons according to the DepEd curriculum. That I am not a good enough teacher.

This usually happens around portfolio review time. My husband says he can predict when my next homeschooling-related meltdown will be - a few months from now when it's time for another portfolio review. Hahaha.

But you know what, every time, without fail, the portfolio review proves to me that we were on the right track all along. That we did enough. That my child learned and thrived in the past couple of quarters.

Ironically, I wrote a blog post about this very thing last year, in the hopes that I don't end up anxious again. But yet again, the pressure got to me, and I lost sight of the goal. I forgot our why's, and focused on all the wrong things.  

I guess this was because the semester was extra-stressful this time around. The Taal Volcano eruption in January was quite a shock. It saw us having to shuttle back and forth from Laguna to Makati every day for weeks, because we were too scared to be left home alone in our suffocating, ash-covered house. It was "cafe-schooling" for us for a few weeks. To say that I was anxious about the amount of homeschooling done is an understatement.

"Cafe-schooling" while our house was covered in ash. We've had to wear masks long before the COVID19 quarantine.

And right when we were easing back to normal, everyone was homebound by the COVID19 quarantine. My husband started working from home, and we had to adjust to the new normal. The little girl was repeatedly tempted to stay up until the wee hours to wait for Dada to logout - imagine the excitement for her! And understandably, the coronavirus scare was mentally-taxing for me. 

Life was yet again thrown topsy-turvy. 

But God reminded me anew of why we are doing this in the first place. Me of little faith. God sent me a reminder through the form of a counselling session with Teacher Girlie Argosino from Homeschool Global, right when I needed it most. 

This deserves a separate post. But one of the most unforgettable things she said to me after I shared to her that I felt I wasn't able to teach enough Araling Pilipino this term was, "Ang learning sa academics, mahahabol 'yan anytime. But teaching life skills is habit forming." 

This comforted me and calmed me down. And as I looked back on all the activities and trips we've done despite life's curveballs this year, I realize we went above and beyond what was required. Yes, even in Araling Pilipino and Filipino which I was so worried about. Ok naman pala. As Teacher Taju - our new family advisor from HG - said after Amara's portfolio review, "Ang dami niyong nagawa, Mommy! There was no need to worry."

When will I ever learn. We are all so blessed by God's never ending grace, with His infinite number of second chances.

Yes, homeschooling is hard. But when you feel the calling, and you decide to answer it, He will provide you with everything you need, and all will be well.